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[trailblazingspirit]

you've reached march 7th! i'm probably too busy being cute right now to answer your call, but leave a message and i'll get back to you asap! bye~

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[trailblazingspirit]

[That just makes her look even more miserable.]

...I know this probably sounds awful coming from me, but. Is there anything I can do to help? It's my fault anyway that they're in that state, I feel responsible.

[And guilty, deeply guilty.]

I would really like not to die, thanks. But. [She rubs at her forearms, lets out a breath.] Even if it wasn't entirely my fault, I still killed them. I mean, yeah, if I was in my right mind I would never have killed them or anyone else, it wasn't in my control, but—it's still on my hands. Y'know?

[She pushes a hand through her hair, pink strands falling out of the messy bun she put it up into.]

It's still my hands that did it. So—So what do I do with that? [With all this guilt, with all this horror.]

[aslowburn]

...Perhaps. I would give them some time to recover from their fear. They wished to have a reason as to why you attacked them, and well... now I have one. I am certain an apology from the source would be a lot better than second hand, however.

[Though how well Hermes would take that, she can only guess. She did warn them that they might not have an answer that would give them peace, and here they are.

The question gives her reason to pause. Persephone doesn't oft feel much regret. Her biggest regret had always been not helping Calliope when she needed it most- even if she had no idea, even if Calliope had hidden it from her to protect her. That would be a regret that would remain with her forever. But that... is not the same as this. ]

I wish I could tell you. I can only give advice. [ He heaves out a sigh. ] You have two options. You can let this grief consume you, eat away until there's nothing left of the person you are, wallow in misery and sadness and berate yourself until your time on this earth is done.

Or... you can let it shape you. You cannot be rid of it, it doesn't work like that. But you can learn from it. Grow from it. You now know what you are capable of, even if you were not in your right mind. You know how that can ripple out to others. Use that to shape the person you will become in the future. Perhaps a little sharper... but maybe a little more appreciative of how quickly things can be lost, also.

[trailblazingspirit]

I can contact them in...two weeks, maybe? Or next month. I want to give them that reason myself, but I don't want them to feel uncomfortable.

[She's already caused them enough pain, after all. She won't be the reason they feel more.

She pauses for a moment, letting this sink in. The first option is not something she can countenance—which leaves the second option, hard as that is. Because Persephone's right, now she knows all too well what she's capable of if pushed hard enough, even if she wasn't sane at the time. She knows, too, how it affects others, how such loss rips into other people who loved them. So she nods.]

I can learn. I'm a very fast learner. And...next time something like this happens, I'll have learned from this, and I'll do better by everyone else. And I won't go near the big obvious trap, that too. [She fiddles with her sleeves.] I won't let this grief and horror be the end of me. I'll be better tomorrow than I was then.

...I have to be. I don't have a yesterday to lean on.

[aslowburn]

I think that is wise. Give yourselves both time to heal a little, but not so long that it feels like the issue is being swept under the rug.

[Persephone listens, and nods her head. ]

Good. You cannot let it end you if you can help it, and if you do that, you will be stronger from it. [A smile crosses her lips. ] And to avoid the "big obvious trap", yes.

[ Ah, and that's a little concerning, but she does understand that only too well. ]

Sometimes, our yesterdays are taken away from us, and we can never get them back. It means we fight harder to have a tomorrow worth living for.